Thanks to our pals over at the Twitter account “Happy Punch”, we’ve got wind that 1.3 million little tykes emptied their piggy banks to tune into what DAZN called the “boxing event of the year”. Ah, to be young and naive again!
First up, the name: The PRIME card. Clearly aimed at the demographic that thinks “prime” means the best slice of playground or the peak time for Saturday morning cartoons. We had KSI, which in kiddie lingo probably stands for “Kiddie’s Superhero Incognito”, battling it out against Tommy “Did My Mum Pack My Gloves?” Fury.
On the other side, we had Logan “I Promise I’m a Boxer” Paul squaring up with Dillon “15 Minutes of Fame” Danis. Their fight resembled a schoolyard spat over the last juice box more than any type of professional altercation.
Now, let’s address the rumors: 1.3 million PPV buys. Pause for laughter. A sheer masterclass of pre-teen decision-making if I ever saw one.
1.3 million! Oh, the hilarity! I’m genuinely curious how many were actual credit card transactions and how many were traded for bubblegum and stickers. It seems the “Mom, can I borrow your card? It’s for…school” excuse was on heavy rotation that day.
Our cheeky informant, Happy Punch, decided to confirm the astronomical number of buys. Probably they counted every candy wrapper and crayon drawing as valid currency.
Now, nobody’s confirmed this bombshell. Not KSI, not Logan, and certainly not Misfits Boxing. But, given the noise these influencers create, it’s believable. Let’s not forget, Logan “The Maverick” did make some significant noise back in 2021, fighting Floyd Mayweather, and clocking in over a million PPV buys. And the KSI vs. Logan Paul fights? Yup, they made noise too. So, 1.3 million? Probably spot on.
Wrapping this up, here’s a toast to the 1.3 million little comedians-in-the-making. Your investment in this clown show of a PPV made the rest of us feel like we’re watching Saturday morning cartoons. So, kiddos, next time you think about buying a PPV, maybe stick to the cartoons – they’re cheaper and probably more realistic. But hey, at least we got a good laugh out of it.
