09.06.05 – By Jarrett Blakeley: On Saturday night, ‘Iron’ Mike Tyson will step into the ring for the first time in almost a year. Since being knocked out by Danny Williams last year, Tyson has been through rehab, financial troubles and a rigorous training camp. Fortunately for the one they called ‘Kid Dynamite’, Kevin McBride is the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.. Put simply, Kevin McBride makes Gerry Cooney look like Rocky Marciano, and Tyson is going to make McBride look like a fool. A scared, bleeding, backpedaling fool. Don’t believe me? Let’s take a look at McBride’s last three fights and then the four men that have defeated him.
Kevin McBride v. Kevin Montiy, March 18, 2005
Kevin McBride easily handled the dangerous Kevin “Big Dog” Montiy (6’5”, 234 lbs.) three months ago at Foxwoods Resort and Casino in Mashantucket, CT. Montiy (15-3-1, 12 KO), who had stopped 11 opponents before the third round was no match for the Irishman. Montiy effectively used his boxing skills and speed to stay away from McBride’s power in the first round, but was quickly worn down by the “Clones Colossus.” The fight was stopped by the referee at 2:28 of the fifth round when McBride trapped the defenseless Montiy in the corner and held him up with a series of lefts and rights. Although Kevin Montiy was clearly outmatched in this fight, he was able to land a couple of straight rights early, and anything Kevin Montiy can do, Mike Tyson can do better.
Kevin McBride v. Marcus Rhode, December 4, 2003
Kevin McBride thoroughly beat down Marcus “The Big Tuna” Rhode (29-27-1, 25 KO), canning him late in the third round when Rhode’s corner threw in the towel. The bald, fat Rhode (6’2”, 270 lbs.) had been knocked down shortly before the fight was stopped, and lumbering to his feet yelled “No way!” at the pro-McBride crowd. McBride responded by battering Rhode while the ropes struggled to hold him up.
Marcus Rhode is by far McBride’s most experienced opponent, having been knocked out by almost every heavyweight I have ever heard of. Rhode has been knocked out by Riddick Bowe, Andrew Golota, Shannon Briggs, Lamon Brewster, Vitali Klitschko, Tommy Morrison (after he was diagnosed with HIV), and Eric ‘Butterbean’ Esch. These seven fights lasted a total of fifteen rounds. He has also fought in two of the most forgettable trilogies in boxing history against Andy Sample (32-10-2, 21 KO) and Richard Slack (1-8, 0 KO). The best performance Rhode could muster against Sample was a 4th round No Contest, but he stopped Richard Slack twice in the first round and once in the second. From what I understand, no one was there to pick up the Slack. Coming soon to a holding cell near you: Slack v. Rhode IV.
Less than a year after McBride beat him, Rhode was knocked out by Riddick Bowe in the second round. Riddick Bowe has not been allowed to fight since because it is suspected he has suffered substantial brain damage (during other fights). Marcus Rhode has also been defeated by three of ‘Iron’ Mike’s less celebrated victims (Brian Nielson, Andrew Golota, and Lou Savarese), with the three fights lasting a total of seven rounds. Even though McBride dominated Rhode, I still believe Mike Tyson might be able to give him some problems.
Kevin McBride v. Lenzie Morgan, August 9, 2003
A supremely overmatched Lenzie “Lightening” Morgan (14-29-3, 7 KO) was knocked out at 2:58 of round one after failing to rise from the canvas to continue his face-first rampage through the heavyweight division. Morgan, a former middleweight hadn’t won a fight in almost eight years, although he did dance the distance with Nigel Benn in 1991 at 168 lbs. Tyson should keep an eye out for McBride’s fearsome, Lenzie Morgan-destroying power, or he could be in some serious trouble. Last April, Morgan was knocked out in the second round by former Tyson victim Bruce Seldon and has not fought since. We probably won’t be hearing from Morgan again until his induction into the International Boxing Hall of Fame.
McBride’s Four Knockout Losses
Kevin McBride has been stopped four times in his career, twice to fighters with sub .500 records. Most recently, he was TKO’d in the fifth by Davarryl “Touch of Sleep” Williamson (22-3-0, 18 KO). Williamson is the only McBride conqueror who has beaten anyone of significance in the heavyweight division, having defeated Corey Sanders in 2002, also by a fifth round TKO.
Before that McBride was TKO’d by British heavyweight, Michael Murray (16-26-0, 9 KO) in the third round. The best fighter Murray has ever beaten is the oft-maligned Julius Francis (23-21-1, 12 KO), who was knocked down by ‘Iron’ Mike four times before their fight was stopped in the second round. Murray has lost ten fights in a row since beating McBride, and I want next.
Axel Schulz (26-4-0, 11 KO) is probably the best known fighter to have beaten the “Clones Colossus” recording a TKO in the ninth round of their bout in 1997. Schulz has lost to Michael Moorer and a 46-year-old George Foreman. The best fighter he has ever beaten was a worn out, 41-year-old James ‘Bonecrusher’ Smith who was well past his prime if he ever had one. Smith’s most well known effort was a 12 round hug-fest with Tyson in 1987. The ‘Iron’ One took a Unanimous Decision for the ‘Bonecrusher’s’ Heavyweight Title.
Louis ‘The Facelifter” Monaco (14-29-4, 7 KO) beat McBride by TKO in five rounds in 1997. When I look at Monaco’s resume, I wonder why Marcus Rhode couldn’t do the same. ‘The Facelifter’ has lost to Butterbean, Trevor Berbick (ten years after Tyson knocked him down three times with one punch!), ‘Buster’ Douglas (by DQ in the first), Vitali Klitschko, and Lamon Brewster. Monaco did manage to knock out Peter McNeeley in a mere five rounds a year before conquering McBride. Irishmen Beware!
Kevin McBride has done nothing to make me think he will be anything but another one-round knockout victim for Mike Tyson. His record, as well as his opponent’s records speak for themselves. His chances of beating Mike Tyson are slim and none, and Slim just got knocked out by Marcus Rhode.
Jarrett Blakeley can be reached at jarrettblakeley@yahoo.com