12.03.06 – By Peter Cameron: It is rare in history to hear one man tell so many lies to so many people. Usually this astounding feat is reserved to the men of politics, that most slippery of spin-driven professions. President Nixon’s “I am not a crook”, at the height of the Watergate scandal, perhaps ranks as the single most outrageous lie of the Twentieth Century. Close to challenging for Nixon’s title is another president, Clinton, addressing millions of viewers to explain “I did not have sexual relations with that woman,” only for an unpleasantly-stained dress to prove otherwise.
The current incumbents of power are displaying an honesty deficiency which challenges even the darkest depths of their mirky predecessors. Despite apocalyptic warnings from the Bush-Blair double act about the need to disarm Saddam of chemical, biological and nuclear weapons, nothing more scary than a kitchen knife has been found in three years of searching since the invasion.
Yet some argue that one man stands head and shoulders, both literally and metaphorically, above all of these serial benders of the truth.
“There is no more grooming to become Heavyweight Champion. My time is now and I’m ready to take over the heavyweight division.”
Audley Harrison’s prophecies of greatness have ranged from simply unlikely to downright delusional. Having finally been exposed, humiliated so publically at the hands of arch-enemy Danny Williams, the lunacy of his words has at last been confirmed.
Harrison’s official website (www.audleyharrison.com) is a fantastic effort, as accurate and reliable as a David Irving history book. The profile section speaks of the “A-Force train gathering pace… Enjoy the ride; it’s going to be a thrilling one, all the way to the final destination; the heavyweight championship of the world.” Whilst the fight record at the foot of the page has been updated with the Williams result, the main text is laughably out of date, and the page as a whole highlights the over-riding problem with Harrison’s career; that his ego and sense of self-importance have never been backed up by his performances in the ring.
The profile describes Harrison’s opponents so far as “technical boxers, aggressive sluggers, hungry prospects, wily veterans, powerful giants and speedy smaller men”. It is difficult to match these descriptions to any of the sub-standard fighters Audley has actually faced. Maybe private detective Mike Middleton is the speedy smaller man. Perhaps Julius Long is the powerful giant or Julius Francis the wily veteran. Maybe that butcher was the hungry prospect. Harrison’s victory over Richel Hersisia (remember the Dutch Sonny Liston?) is proclaimed as the “perfect performance”. Forget Ali against Cleveland Williams, it’s Harrison v Hersisia which should be the centre-piece of your fight collection.
By late 2002 war with Iraq seemed inevitable. President Bush, in his latest State of the Union speech, was warning that Saddam Hussein had sought “significant quantities of uranium from Africa,” a baseless comment that even the morally bankrupt CIA had asked not to be used. In Britain, Tony Blair was telling the House of Commons that “Saddam has existing and active military plans for the use of chemical and biological weapons, which could be activated within 45 minutes.” Perhaps not wanting to be outdone, Harrison, in the style of Martin Luther King, declared “I have a dream to realise, World Heavyweight Champion, and someone is going to have to beat it out of me to stop me realising this dream… Stay with Audley Harrison and he will deliver”. The day after Harrison’s vision, he plodded to an unconvincing points decision over 37 year old no-hoper Ratko Draskovic. Those of us who had once shared Harrison’s dream had long since woken up. Harrison had vowed to become British Champion within five fights of turning pro, yet it took him nearly five years to unsuccessfully challenge for that title. During that time Harrison had continuously spoken of taking the baton from the retired Lennox Lewis, yet he contented himself with feasting on desperately ill-equipped journeymen.
Fast forward to 10th December 2005. Judgement Day for Audley Harrison. Danny Williams shouldn’t have represented a difficult evening for a world champion in waiting; his demolition at the hands of Vitali Klitschko a few months earlier showed him to be two or three divisions below the top contenders. In the pre-fight build-up, Harrison cringemakingly tried to imitate Muhammad Ali; “Bet on me but not in 11, coz Danny Williams will fall in 7”. Afterwards, following a performance so poor as to question Harrison’s actual credentials to be considered a boxer, Barry McGuigan summed up people’s thoughts from ringside; “Audley was dreadful. He told us he was the real deal. Nonsense, he’s not the real deal. Audley ran like he was petrified.”
As we approach the second quarter of 2006, Iraq is edging perilously closer to civil war, the Taliban are regrouping in Afghanistan and the whole Middle East region is facing chaos. In America, after the devastation of Hurricane Katrina, President Bush claimed “I don’t think anybody anticipated the breach of the levees”, only for uncovered video footage to show him being warned of such an occurrence by top disaster officials on the eve of the storm. In politics you can be shielded and protected, with other people taking the blame and being sacrificed. In boxing there really is nowhere to hide. Yet boxing offers something politicians are rarely ever granted; a chance of redemption. On 14th April Harrison climbs back into the ring against Dominic Guinn, the toughest opponent he will have ever faced. Observers of politics usually have deep-rooted persuasions and allegiances to a particular cause or belief. Boxing fans, on the other hand, are fickle. An impressive performance and early knockout against Guinn, who took James Toney all the way to the scorecards in his last fight, would thrust Harrison back into contention in an instant. In the way that one bad performance can hugely dent a boxer’s career, one great performance can immediately rebuild a reputation. Whether or not he will seize this chance is a different matter. Another lifeless, plodding display will see the “A-Force train” permanently derailed.
Joe Calzaghe’s magical masterpiece last week and Ricky Hatton’s continued rampage through the light-welterweight division have raised the standards of British boxing, and fans are no longer willing to accommodate a man who brags so loudly without ever delivering. Harrison’s story is in danger of coming to an abrupt end, his epitaph a small and insignificant entry in a sordid chapter of history.
This author can be contacted at peterrcameron@hotmail.com