By Fantana: Every second, of every minute, of every round. These were the words spoken loudly by Audley ‘A-Force’ Harrison whose record is an impressive 27 – 5 with 20 wins coming by way of knockout. There was so much excitement in Great Britain in the run up to the fight that according to a nurse in Wrexham head-butting injuries were up 40% over the same time last year. This was of course all due to Audley Harrison who has a massive following not just in the UK but worldwide. The people in the world united and became one, in a non-gay way, as the 2000 Olympic Gold Medallist finally got his world title shot. Unfortunately it all went wrong as the record books show that little Dave Haye who lives in Cyprus was gifted a third round TKO over the peoples champion. This brilliant man-article is not to outline why it went wrong (I already did that) but to look at the positives and how Audley can come back stronger. I firmly believe that 2011 is going to be the year Audley Harrison becomes Heavyweight Champion of the World. For the record this will be my last article on Audley Harrison until he proves me right.
Back in 1975 Roy Scheider had to take on a whale of a task and beat Jaws, a shark. As I watch the film I notice that beards were much more popular in the ‘70s and as they say history repeats itself which is fact, google it. The meaning of the film is to convey to the general public that no matter what the odds against you are the task ahead is achievable if only you believe in yourself and also possess a gun. Audley Harrison’s guns are his 17 inch biceps and his choice of ammo is his fists. Those dangerous 13 inch fists which he used to rattle the WBA champion last Saturday night with that hard jab which officially landed a whole one time. Yes Audley lost but this just means that now the pressure is off him to perform and he can get back to doing what he does best which is hitting people several times per round, sometimes right in the mouth.
It would be easy to get caught up in the witch hunt that that has transpired since Saturday night. Lesser men have called for Audley to retire, I even read some boxing reports calling the fight a farce. Apparently the BBBofC were pondering whether they should withhold Audley’s prize money. Why? What did he do that was so wrong except give his all and come up slightly short due to a premature stoppage? For goodness sake the man carries an axe with him to fight bears when he is out jogging, bears! This is a man who has been getting up before 11 am for the past three months to go running every day and they are wondering if they should take away his money he damned well earnt via the sweat of his man-brow. The money he needs to pay for his family and his little girl. As a family man myself all I can say is I find this unacceptable and David Cameron agrees, after all we are all in this together.
And yet somewhere beneath all of this mayhem Audley has emerged again and has been spotted in public, a bit like Wagbo. In order for 2011 to be the year of Audley he has somethings he needs to do to win over the naysayers and finally grasp that elusive world title. I am going to outline the steps needed to be taken by the big man.
1) A-Force has to go. It is gimmicky now, at first it was all cool and people were like ‘Woah! Shit that is a cool nickname!’ but after several years and let downs it is now a bit long in the tooth. What Audley needs is to go back to his roots, forget all the promotional guff he uses and walk amongst his fellow Britons such as me and my friend Marcelo the Brazilian. I propose a much better nickname is Audley ‘A-For Effort’ Harrison. Goodness knows no one tries more than Audley who has come through ridicule, injury, knockout losses and colour runs in his washing to earn that title shot. Get rid of the new ‘best thing’ image, that is there for David Haye and his Dad Levi Roots to enjoy. What Audley needs is a total rebooting of his image and persona. No one is going to ridicule a man who tries his best, no one is going to boo him, no one is going to want to see him loose if he shows some humanity. It was all going so well for him when he had that axe in his hand. So Audley, be the man who isn’t supposed to win for a change. Don’t give up now, where would Nick Vujicic be if he gave up? Be John McClane in boxing much like I am in writing but please note – I am not Bruce Willis.
2) Get back in the ring, in a non-gay way, as soon as possible. This is a must, no more one or two fights per year. Audley needs to take the bull by the horns so to speak and really beat the living crap out of someone the public knows. Let’s just say Audley fights the young man Tyson Fury, sure to generate a crowd and it would bag Audley the English title. Audley wouldn’t have to do too much in the fight seeing as Tyson Fury punches himself in the face quiet a lot. Since Tyson himself is a big lad who would actually be taller than Audley and he himself talks a good fight no doubt the anticipation for such a bout would be high. I recommend the fight be called “Audley – Face the Fury of the Jury”. Tyson would of course be the fury and the jury would be the boxing public who at this point in time are upset with Audley after his premature stoppage at the fists of all-time great Cyprus resident David Haye.
3) After a devastating knockout win over Fury in say February why not go for a second fight that year in May or sooner against Francesco Pianeta. A tall 6 foot 5 heavyweight from Germany who happens to be a former European champion and has a win over recent Vitali Klitschko opponent Albert Sosnowski. This is a very winnable fight for Audley. Pianeta is not a big puncher and represents a high reward little risk fight for the Brit. A good win over this unbeaten German would surely put him in the mix for a title shot.
4) If for some reason he didn’t get a world title shot after beating Fury and Pianeta Audley could always beat up fat Chris Arreola in say August. Arreola is past his best and whilst still a big name is someone who is there for the taking, in a non-gay way. Bested by Vitali Klitschko in an entertaining ten rounds Arreola has since gone on to get beaten by Thomas Adamek. He has a high output of punches but regardless of what his record says Arreola lacks that big punch. I think a revitalized Audley could take big Chris out in three or four rounds and this would absolutely guarantee a world title shot.
If Audley follows a similar path to these four steps then I don’t think that anyone could argue against his case for a world title shot at the end of 2011. You might think that he will be too old but as they say life begins at forty. Yes people feel let down by him and of course there is a knee-jerk reaction by the public following his loss. But one loss, or five in Audley’s case, does not signal the end of a career. I just have that feeling that 2011 is the year for Audley, I don’t see any reasons why he can’t capture the vacant WBF Heavyweight Championship of the World.
Yours in manliness,
Fantana